Here in Canada, children value honesty… But wait, then why did the little girl blame her brother for eating all the cookies? Well, maybe honesty becomes more of a value as they grow older! Oh… They lied about their age to be served at the bar… Of course, they are just teenagers, when they mature into adults they'll… Lie to their friends about how much they've had to drink. "Sure! I can drive you home! I only had thre…fi…sev… What ever! Just get in the car!"
My presentation is not on how Canadians value honesty. It's on the word that we are stereotyped to have burned into our brains. The word that is said so much, that is just loses meaning.
Sorry.
Sorry is a strong word. It is whimpered by the children who accidentally break their mother's fine china, and screamed by a spouse apologizing for being unfaithful. It can heal a heart if said in the right way. It can solve problems, if said with compassion.
But NO! Sorry COULD be all these things. BUT IT'S NOT! Sorry is an empty word repeated twenty times everyday without thinking. You bump into someone in the hallway, "Oh sorry!". You talk about someone behind their back and they find out, "Sorry man, didn't mean it".
But sorry does NOT fix the fine china. Sorry does NOT heal the cyclist you injured when you were behind the wheel, impaired. Sorry? SORRY does NOT wipe the blood off the walls of the teenagers room. The teenager who loved music and art. The teenager you called a fat pig yesterday.
So, when you talk about all these Canadian stereotypes that we are 'nice' and 'peaceful' and 'love hockey eh?!' I don't agree that we value any of these things.
We don't value the word Sorry… Because Sorry doesn't solve anything.
I like the new perspective on what sorry means and how the power of it degrades. However, this does not provide a solution. What are we to do instead? If "Sorry doesn't solve anything" what does?
ReplyDeleteThis is a good point Menglin - what would you suggest? Amir faces a similar issue in the novel, but he won't even get to the point of whispering an apology to Hassan. Our voices are often not enough. Action is required to demonstrate that our feelings of remorse are genuine, and only an action can help restore balance to a relationship that has been harmed. ODSS has recently embarked on a "random acts of kindness" campaign. What a great opportunity to show people what we are truly made of.
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